Always listen to your children, even if they have a diagnosis, or rather, especially if they have a diagnosis.

A boy I work with was having a problem with tantrums. He wanted to stop yelling and hitting but couldn’t quite manage it. He told his mom he needed a “Tar-tis.” He begged her to have it built according to his specifications. Unlike most moms I know, she listened to his unusual request and rather than explaining that she couldn’t do it she figured out that she could. Then she did.

Originally written for and published on OpEdNews.com here: Growing In And Out Of Autism

I suppose this article will be seen as inflammatory but I just can’t keep what I am seeing a secret anymore.

To understand what I am about to share first you have to know a little about me. I raised 8 children, 6 were adopted and of those six 5 were labeled as challenged. As the spectrum of autism became more cohesive 4 of the 5 were considered autistic. In addition 2 of my grandsons also showed signs of autism and we – as a family – took immediate measures to change the story.

I learned and discovered a lot of things during those years. These learnings led to 6 of the 7 healing and growing off the spectrum. I then began working Internationally with a primary therapy called neurofeedback and an environmental approach for teaching through play.

Initially my clients were the hard cases no one could help primarily having tried everything else first. Many were dangerous, most were non-verbal and incontinent, all were extremely challenged. After a while word got out that I could ‘change the story’ with this unique cocktail of therapies and that I was willing to come to the home and teach the family what to do. I began speaking and sharing on facebook to keep up with the interest. I wrote a book to reach beyond myself and put up youtube. I began a podcast. I started chasing my PhD so that credibility would be scholastically extended and I could share what I knew.

With all this my net spread wider and more and more people with younger children, early in their diagnosis, found me. Something disturbing began to emerge.

I was being called into homes wherein a small issue of perhaps auditory processing or slower development or hyperactivity or imaginary friends were evident in the child. The rush for early diagnosis and the newness of the parents and the push for well behaved nursery school children all combined and led to diagnosis that in my opinion (I am NOT a diagnostician, just an experienced mom and clinician) created the disorder.

Let me give you some examples (names and areas changed to protect identity).

#1 Six Year Old Boy who has been doing ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) since he was 3. Upon meeting him he appears to avoid eye contact and be uncomfortable with new people. Within 10 minutes he is fully engaged and telling me about his past. He adores playing and has peculiar interests that one could attach to an intelligent curiousity of the world archeological past but is also willing to play and story tell in more traditional areans like Disney movies. When a game gets too tough he wants to quit, but when he is reassured that no one minds if he quits, he tries again. When his parents are pointing out his autism he displays it, and when they are going with my assessment so does he. I look at various reports and find one common element: In all testing he first appears neuro-typical and doesn’t display any symptoms until he is removed from a comfortable office setting and placed in a testing environment. At this point he shrinks and hides from the testers. Since this appears common they diagnose him as ASD. He begins three years of therapy. Over the next few years his ASD seems to emerge more and more. Two things happen. 1- they hire me 2- they move. The move helps immediately because (in my opinion) they don’t have the necessary resources to maintain his vigilant reinforcement of spectrum behavior. 2- I see with fresh eyes. I add neurofeedback which helps to break behavioral patterns quickly and suggest they DON’T put him in special ed but instead hold him back a year in kindergarten. He flourishes.

#2 Eight Year Old Boy who comes with a warning that he doesn’t talk to people, look in eyes or play ‘normally’.  The schools are having a hard time with him and he is being ‘programmed for’ as in sent to a variety of therapies like speech therapy and sensory integration while they await the final diagnosis. He has been prescribed risperidone for hyperactivity and outbursts and trasidome for sleep but hasn’t yet taken any. The moment I meet him I am playful and he shys away so I jump back in the car and model that I will NOT make him do anything. I mention that he is handsome in an offhanded way. He hovers around me and peeks up at my eyes. I say ‘thanks’. I then spend two days with him and he behaves in a neuro-typical boyish way the entire time as long as I don’t act as if I am going to control his body. I do not do neurofeedback on him for a variety of reasons. He sleeps fine and plays well. He is a little starved for attention but even that levels out. I suggest the family give him loads of control and move him out of the program that is making him anxious every morning for school. They say he cries and screams every morning before going. I suggest making a school spot at home and saying you don’t have to go to school but the law says you have to be ‘doing school’ so sit here till three or go … its up to you. I know this will work. I have absolutely no doubt. The family is yet to try it. They are not my clients so I have less of an influence and they may end up using the drugs instead.

#3 She is eleven. Intervention began for her at 22 months. She has many many tapes wherein she speaks clearly at the table. She is a mess. In the past year she began pulling hair and biting and refusing to leave her closet. She didn’t want me to join her in her closet so I made a closet extension with a big refridgerator box. I gathered her spit (which she ruthlessly aimed at my face) into a small tube I found in her playthings and told her that when it was full we would be friends. She stopped spitting and smiled. I spent a lot of time promising not to force and explaining why I thought we could help each other. She let me begin neurofeedback (put a sensor on her head and watch her EEG while giving a video display of her brain activity) as long as I didn’t make her look at it. She laid her head out of the closet and onto my lap. This young woman was definitely disturbed, definitely different, definitely uncomfortable but not very ASD. In fact, by the end of three days we were best friends and she seemed totally neurotypical when in the comfort of her room and only my presence. Fortunately there were nanny cameras set up so I was able to convince the family that she may have been misdiagnosed.

#4 Closer to home and on the other side of the story: My grandson began turning his head away from eye contact and twisting out of anyones arms but his mothers (or mine as long as I was on the trampoline or dancing) around 5 months of age. He had intense meltdowns and threw up whenever he was upset by anything visual or a bad smell. His sounds became guttural and he seldom slept. Our family devised a ‘pass him around playfully engaging eye contact and speech for hours upon end’ program. He eventually reversed each symptom (though things like vomiting and needing long rests after periods of social engagement took years) though he still plays wayyyy too much xbox. We did intervene early but not with a diagnosis ABA approach. At present he is an A student has friends and is much loved.

#5 Again closer to home and on a similar other side of the story: Another grandson was still not talking at age four. He walked on his toes, tapped the top of his lip and stared at trains (especially Thomas). He was naked whenever possible and played alone for large periods of time. His baby brother had showed signs of autism and we had thus realized that they were both in need.  We used a sign language super fun around the face and highlighting eye contact approach with this one. He began to talk. His other symptoms were slower to help and he had enuresis till age 8. One of my favorite memories of this child was my daughter driving around and around the school while he sat naked in the back seat covering himself with a towel. She would say ‘Are you ready yet?’ and eventually he would say ‘yes’ put on his cloths and go to school. When she would pick him up at the end of the day he would get in the car take his cloths off under the towel and breath a sigh of relief. He had handled school and held it together all day. It was time to relax. This was our very accepting, playfull early intervention program. For attention and bedwetting we used neurofeedback. He had some difficulty focusing and was a low scorer for the first years but he caught up and is now just cool different and very loved. He is a little like a true thespian; on the edges and happy there.

So, what’s the point?

In the past years the rising numbers for those on the spectrum of autism have made ‘autism’ a buzz word of terror for parents. Blame is thrown everywhere and responsibility for healing is dodged at every trun. In the past few months parents have been successfully and unsuccessfully killing their autistic children and themselves out of desperation and a desire for mutual freedom. Recently studies have shown that autism can be detected at an early age via the EEG and that with the right encouragement children can grow out of autism. Thus social sharing has dragged autism into the limelight and parents have been told to seek early intervention as if there is no harm done when intervening early but harm done when the problem is ignored. The primary school sanctioned approach is called ABA and it comes in all shapes and sizes.

The concept seems sound BUT early intervention is NOT harmless.

In the stories I have shared with you it was early intervention that took an existing issue and caused it to either grow in or out of autism. In the stories I shared wherein the ‘system’ intervened, the early intervention that is primarily used reinforced the problems and asked the child to ‘sit still, hands quiet, head up, at an age when this is innapropriate. Early intervention also reinforced the learning problem by rewarding the child and giving them breaks within which to behave abnormally, while data was jotted down and evidence of learning tracked. In addition ‘talking’ about the child’s difficulties as if they are written in stone and need to be ‘trained’ away reinforced their low self-esteem and desire to hide.

What’s worse most of the people performing this work and seeking help for their children are being prescribed drugs to deal with the stress instead of methods that make the journey fun.

Years ago we let children be themselves and asked them to step up and learn some stuff then do their chores. We worked together as families, used our instincts and loved our children through. I don’t like what I am seeing. Having a child on the spectrum is hard, but lovingly doable as long as we weren’t complicit in creating the problem.

But when we know it’s our fault we hide our eyes and teach them to go deeper within. When you reach for early intervention make sure it mirrors that phase of a child’s life. If they are two, three, four, five, six it needs to look like play.

Lynette Louise (“The Brain Broad”) Is Returning To Speak At The Annual Leadership Summit America

*Lynette Louise has been working effectively as an advocate (for victims of abuse, homelessness, and disabilities) for over thirty years. Around the world she has helped build passionate teams of educators, taught families necessary skills for raising the bar and growing more successful, and even opened up her own home as a place of Leadership, love, and learning. Anyone interested in building an influential team that gives power to their activism or advocacy will want to learn with Lynette!*

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Back by popular demand, renowned international brain change expert Lynette Louise (“The Brain Broad”) will be speaking at the Annual Leadership Summit America – Albany, November 2-3rd 2017 at the DESMOND Hotel and Conference Center. On an impressive roster with fellow Leadership Influencers – Jeff Hoffman, Sharon Burstein, Forbes Riley, Frank Shankwitz, and Marilyn Suey – The Brain Broad will be showing attendees how to harness their Leadership Senses in pursuit of better Leaders and Leadership Skills.

The Seven Leadership Sensibilities (as described in the book The Seven Senses Of Leadership: The Brain Broad’s Guide to Leadership Sensibilities by Lynette Louise) are Seeing, Hearing, Tasting, Smelling, Feeling, Balancing, and Leading. Lynette is skilled at teaching the science of the senses with passion and easily remembered metaphors, and then taking us several steps further into creating, enhancing, and building our own skills with this new surprisingly fascinating knowledge.

Neuro-diversity, disability, and mental health advocates will particularly appreciate Lynette’s inclusive presentation! As an international expert and hands-on clinician, The Brain Broad gives neuro-diversity, behavior, ability, and more an important role. Also, Lynette is hosting a no-cost gathering for folks interested in learning more about Leadership and Neuro-Diversity, or brain health and disability, on the Friday at the finish of the summit.

A Tiny Taste Of What Lynette Teaches:

1) SEEING leads to believing and believing leads to seeing: they work together and build upon each other. It is the act of believing (or expecting) that causes your brain to choose what bits and pieces, out of the landscape of possibilities in front of you, that you will perSEEv .

2) People choose their leaders out of fear and love. The SMELL OF SUCCESS in a leader can be thrown out there like a chemical pheromone; a pheromone of love or a pheromone of hate. Lynette shows you how to control your pheromone production through intention, helping you produce the ODOR OF ADORE. You must have the ODOR OF ADORE – not just to get adoration, but to give it. It’s a mutual feedback loop of chemical reception.

3) LEADERS choose strength and set their followers free. In fact, they insist upon it. Leaders Lead and then let go in order to grow. They are always on the move. And every time they step forward, they leave an empty space behind in their wake that somebody else must step into and fill.

BRAIN BROAD TIP: “A Natural Leader naturally knows how to build herself using the world around her and the raw material of her personage. A Learned Leader learns to do the same. In the end, you can’t tell one from the other. So learn. Learn how to Lead and how to not be misLed .”

This is only a small sample of the many fascinating and effective Leadership Sensibilities Lynette Louise will help attendees understand and employ at November’s Annual Leadership Summit America – Albany. And Lynette is merely one of the speakers that will be sharing valuable knowledge!

BONUS: Lynette will host a special no-cost gathering for Q&A on the brain after the summit has ended on Friday. Simply email her with your name and intention to attend. (Scroll down for contact info.)

Whether learning to lead is your motivation, or choosing better leaders – or both! – be sure to attend this powerful event.

Lynette Louise is available for interviews.

*Lynette Louise began her career in Leadership at the age of seven when she gave a sermon at her local church about the dangers of prejudice. Sadly, after her passionate sermon, prejudice still existed. So, armed with vision and overflowing with ideas, Lynette spent a lifetime studying human behavior with the specific purpose of becoming an ethical influential Leader. Now she works tirelessly to share that lifetime of learning with others through storytelling. Films, books, performances, articles, and events large and small have been honored by the spirit of that seven-year-old who continues to change the world.*

Register or learn more about the Annual Leadership Summit America – Albany here: http://www.sharonburstein.com/leadership-summit/

Purchase The Seven Senses of Leadership: The Brain Broad’s Guide to Leadership Sensibilities here: http://www.lynettelouise.com/book/
Contact – Lynette Louise, D.Sc., Ph.D. ABD, Doubly Board Certified in Neurofeedback
www.lynettelouise.com/ www.brainbody.net / EMAIL: mom4evermore@juno.com

PHONE: 713-213-7682

# # #

“This is your brain. This is your brain on hate….”

Hate can be hard to understand. Yet, with a little understanding of behavior and the brain, it seems (almost) logical.  It also becomes clear that we can learn how to not choose it.

Hate and anger have stronger neuro-chemical hits than the softer emotions. It is like comparing a strong dose of cocaine to five drops of CBD oil, wherein you feel better but don’t get high. And, like cocaine, the strong hit of hate wears off quick and needs to be repeated. So if you are addicted to hate you have to self-inject (via thoughts and speech) constantly. Thus, addiction to looking for “hate targets” is quick to take hold.

Additionally, the brain is preset to attend more quickly and completely to negative stimuli in order to keep us safe. This translates into meaning that if we feel a negative emotion, like hate or anger, all thoughts that might bring a countering emotion are wiped away until the internally driven neuro-chemical drug reduces in amount.

Like all junkie communities, hate cements people together because it is easier to get a hit for free when you hang out with other people who have the same interests/beliefs/addictions.

Understanding this about hate can, admittedly, be almost enticing. Luckily, though, this knowledge mostly leads us to make safer, less addicting choices. After all, being an addict is a quick way to lose self-control, self-care, family, success, and legitimate friends.

And hate becomes an addiction quickly.

For those of you who are already addicted, or know someone who is, this is powerful knowledge, indeed! With this insight you can catch yourself seeking and inducing hits of hate. You will see the places where you can do the work of changing your thoughts, changing your communities (online and off),  and changing your habits.

And I’ll let you in on a clever insight. The work you’ll be doing shifting out of your addiction by paying attention will keep your brain on alert. Being on alert is neurochemically similar to the brain-state created when targeting the environment for things (and people) to hate. Thus, your brain will now be busy releasing chemicals that reduce your NEED to hate, helping you avoid experiencing overly intense withdrawal symptoms.

Being a hate addict isn’t healthy for anyone.

Just say no.

Short term memory loss client update:

I have never worked with this issue before so I explained to the client that I was willing to try and help, but could make no guarantees.

The man was a psychiatrist before his heart attack four years ago. He was without oxygen for a prolonged period of time and in a coma for many days.

When he woke he had many issues, the most troubling of which (for his wife) was short term memory loss. For the past four years he had not stored memories and indeed could not recall (no matter how many times they told him) that he had had a heart attack.

I did a four-hour assessment, treatment visit to determine if I could use neurofeedback to improve his function. I introduced myself every minute or so because his retention was stuck at thirty seconds.

I saw several improvements in how his damaged body was working and agreed to take him on as a client, reminding everyone that I wasn’t sure we could impact the memory loss but that we could at least improve attention, stress, and the Parkinsonisms in his movement.

One week later, his brain and body had retained some of the beneficial changes so I felt excited. After the first session of thirty minutes he could remember my name for five minutes. Four hours later, without prompting, he could tell us about his heart attack, his lack of blood flow to the brain, he called me by my name (Lynette) and when asked what people also call me he would laugh and say ‘Brain Broad!’

At the end of this month (April 2017) I stop taking new clients because my commitment to a family spans a decade and I just turned sixty. I cannot think of a better case to close the books on. Feeling blessed.

*NOTE: There are still a few days left to reach out to me if you’d like to be a new client. With your permission, I’ll even post about your successes. Either way I wish you blessings on your journey and have created, and will continue to create, product filled with many means for helping you along the way… even if we never meet..
Phone: 713-213-7682 / Email: mom4evermore@juno.com

Dear parents struggling to bond with baby,

Allow me to give you this gift.

Let go of whatever you imagined it would be like to bond, you were wrong.

A lot of this feeling, this feeling of not being able to bond, is due to reality not matching imagination. Also, you’re tired and hormonal, which leads to emotions that cause you to be easily worried and overly observant in self-sabotaging ways.

Just take the time to get to know this new creature. There’s no reason why you would be bonded until you do that.

The difference between the parent who bonds right away and the parent who doesn’t is the belief that they will bond, without the imagined idea of what that should look like or feel like in advance.

Stay in the present and you will be fine.

When you’re in the present you’ll be able to tell if your baby is pulling away and/or refusing to feed because of a problem (maybe a sensory issue or pain) and then you will seek the correct counsel rather than take it personally.

Please Know: The act of reaching out to help your child is the act of bonding.

If you find yourself with more questions or concerns, please feel comfortable reaching out to me.

Bonding with baby is a gift I would love to help you unwrap.

~Lynette Louise
aka The Brain Broad

“Family meeting!” was something I could be heard hollering often, calling all eight of my kids to our huge family dinner table. It was always an effective way to get everyone into one room, but over the years  I perfected the art of the family meeting so that it became effective in all the other ways I wanted (and needed) it to be, too.

So now I’d like to have a family meeting with you! I’d like to share with you the art of the family meeting. Welcome to my dinner table.

LENGTH OF TIME: The length of time a family meeting should last depends on the ages and learning styles of the family members. For instance, a six year old with an auditory learning style would be blessed by five minutes for her/him, and five for the adult. Assuming two adults and two similarly aged and styled children the meeting lasts twenty minutes. Children with visual learning styles might do better to have the meeting be more opportunistic in nature taking advantage of a moment or environment (look at that playground we went there twice last year) however, to make it routine one could use pictures etc. for their visual learner.

FREQUENCY: The frequency of the family meeting is best when it falls on a weekly or biweekly basis, since then it becomes part of the family style rather than a high-pressure period of time wherein the child and parent feel like they must have great answers and questions.

If the meeting is happening quite frequently it can be used to organize chores, sooth sibling rivalry and explain parental choices. But it must be mostly used to gather intel on the lives of each other; to show an interest and share personal (funny, challenging, sad, happy) stories. These can be done in a game format wherein a card is pulled from a hat and the instruction on what to share is followed.

THE PURPOSE: This meeting should help bond and inform. The importance of explaining where you and the other family members are at, and what has happened over the past year, lies in the shaping of a brain and a personal understanding of the future. Future sight is one of the things we are always shaping in our children. Their young brains are fanciful in nature and don’t logically sequence possible futures. To help their brains grow strong logic centers, we as parents must help with that process. Too many families share doom and gloom and create dysfunctional brain development.

The family meeting also enlightens each member on the reasoning of the others. This helps brain and emotional development by creating clarity and affection rather than self-centered confusion and separateness. Finally, slave mentality comes from being taught to blindly follow authority. The family meeting (done well) is preventative from this sort of control method.

THE CONCLUSION: I encourage you to have family meetings but be sure to take the steps necessary to make them effective and successful. Yes, sometimes they will be intense and even uncomfortable. So make sure they are often fun, too.

Like this family meeting we just had.

Fun, right?

;D

My son likes to pretend he is Retarded!

Before you get angry at him, read on:

When he was young he was diagnosed as globally retarded with fetal alcohol syndrome and autistic-like mannerisms.

Invitation: Learn and network with influential Leaders at the Albany Leadership Summit: http://www.sharonburstein.com/leadership-summit/  Purchase your copy of The Seven Senses of Leadership: http://www.lynettelouise.com/book/

Neuroscience teaches us to become better Leaders, get more done and increase our influence.  Use the latest research in the field of brain science to make the right choices, accelerate your productivity- and theirs. A must read for any manager, team leader or executive with staff.

Valuable insights gleaned from the stories of global Leaders throughout history are the backdrop of my latest book, The Seven Senses of Leadership: The Brain Broad’s Guide to Leadership Sensibilities. I bust Leadership myths and uncover The Seven Senses of Leadership, with stories, brain science and fun facts.

I admit that I was surprised by the overwhelmingly positive response to my book. Not because I didn’t know it was a good book (after all, I wrote it because I knew it needed to be written) but because I’m not exactly the most passionate “marketer” of my creations.  I work, I write, I film, I create; I post, I share, I tell, and then I let go.

So when the book was a quick success, I was surprised. I realized that the information was needed and desired, maybe more than I’d originally known. And because I am The Brain Broad, I know well that some people get their information best with other forms of media. Books are great! But some people prefer — even need — video and/or audio.

So, I reached out to several of my Leader friends. Again, I was surprised with the overwhelmingly positive response! Everyone who was available agreed to be part of my FREE Virtual Leadership Summit: Seeking The Path.

I asked 39 diverse and successful Leaders the same three success and Leadership questions, and they all answered in their own unique ways. Certain aspects of Leadership reveal themselves to be consistent in every answer – although always expressed in different ways. I love this!

The open and thoughtful nature in which these Leaders share with us, even telling stories exclusively to our audience, fills me with a gratitude I can barely express. Although I will continue to do so anyway.

Starting by inviting you to join us. When people share their knowledge it’s a gift. I hope you’ll unwrap it with me.

[This is a playlist. Click “play” and let it roll!]